Healthy relationships are built on strong communication and compromises. How you communicate matters but, what about contempt in relationships? Contempt can look and feel unlike in different relationships.
Contempt is the act of treating your partner as if he/she is not worthy of consideration. This might seem a bit dramatic and weird to people who have never experienced contempt in relationships.
One person uses criticism and disrespect to lower the self-esteem of the other. By disrespecting our partners, we make them feel worthless and destroy their confidence.
If you fear that your relationship is having contempt, Relax! We are here to help you with this.
8 Signs of Contempt In Relationships
Contempt is the most toxic of all relationship poisons. It happens when one or both partners are unable to express their anger or rage.
They try to overcome their emotions, hide problems, and mock each other. Every word spoken in anger or disgust by the one you love is like a knife in your heart.
Below, I am going to share with you the major signs of contempt that you must know before getting into a relationship.
1. Lack of Appreciation Can Lead to Contempt In Relationships:
Whatever you do, you never get enough appreciation. Whether it’s the dinner you prepare for your partner or the outfit you wear to work or dinner. You just don’t seem to be able to get it properly. You are subjected to vicious and scathing criticism.
Nobody enjoys being criticized. Some people would even tell white lies to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings. This is not how relationships work; you should tell your partner how you feel about them.
2. Getting Compared to Other People:
Out of many reasons for contempt in relationships, comparison is the most common reason of all. Mostly contempt in relationships happens when one partner starts comparing their partner with other people.
When in a relationship, you should not compare your partner or give examples associated with other people. You should accept your partner the way they are.
3. Feeling Unimportant:
Do you ever feel like your point of view is not important or valued? Do you believe that your partner doesn’t make you feel important anymore?
You don’t let your partner know your feelings because you fear consequences?
Contempt in relationships happens when you don’t listen to your partner. You think that not listening, or interrupting your partner is okay. But in actuality, it is not okay at all and this is where most relationships start getting destroyed.
4. Ignoring Your Partner Can Be a Major Cause of Contempt In Relationships:
Relationships are built on communication. More the communication, the stronger the relationship. Most of the time, partners don’t understand communication’s value and kept ignoring their significant others.
Ignoring your partner or not listening to them can destroy your relationship. To keep your relationship strong, you should listen to your partner whether it’s about something important or casual.
5. Contempt In Relationships -Poor Body Language:
We think that our spouses communicate their thoughts and feeling in words, but it’s not always the scenario. Body language signals indeed give a clearer image of what’s happening in a relationship as compared to words.
From how someone is standing or how they touch, body language can convey everything that your partner is thinking but is not necessarily saying.
If you notice any negative body language signals that are affecting your relationship, try to talk to your partner about what’s bothering them. This is how you can solve the conflict before it’s too late.
6. Making Sarcastic Remarks:
Sarcasm is an easy way of putting someone down or telling them you are better than the other person. If you behave sarcastically with your partner, you could hurt them deeply.
Research shows that being treated sarcastically stimulates the same region of your brain that gets activated when you’re physically injured. If you deal with sarcastic behavior regularly, it can result in the destruction of your emotional health.
Tracy Vaillancourt, a psychologist at the University of Ottawa, found that elevated levels of cortisol could affect your immune system, and can even cause the death of nerve cells in the hippocampus.
7. Lack of Intimacy -Contempt in Relationships:
We all need love and affection as fundamental human needs. This can be expressed in words or gentle touch, cuddles, and hugs. Lack of intimacy can be a problem for couples. Especially, if one partner is more intimate.
It will be difficult to have a long-lasting relationship with your partner if you are not having enough intimacy with them, either emotionally or physically. Lack of intimacy can lead to loneliness, anger, and the absence of support between couples.
Couples often think all is well, but the time when one partner speaks up and tells the other that their intimacy levels are not as high as they should be, promotes relationship damage.
Even worse, if partners face a communication gap, they are more likely to end the relationship without communicating the real cause.
8. Overprotective Partners:
Caring for someone is not the same thing as controlling them. Although it can be hard to tell the difference sometimes. If your partner is suspicious of who you are going out with, if you don’t answer the phone right away, they may act jealous, or be too protective.
Overprotective partners can make the other person feel unhappy and suffocated in a relationship. A controlling, domineering, possessive partner often fails to realize the trauma they cause to their love interest. This often leads to contempt in relationships.
Long-lasting relationships always ask for compromises. However, it is important to be open about your feelings and set boundaries. This will allow you to reduce contempt in your relationship.
How to Fix Contempt in Relationships? 7 Useful Ways!
A relationship suffering from contempt can make it unsafe for both partners. To deal with contempt, you should know about the reasons for contempt.
Now that you have a good understanding of the signs, examples, and consequences associated with contempt.
Let us dive into how to heal contempt in a relationship. Here are the best ways!
1. Self Evaluation Can Save You From Contempt In Relationships:
To fix contempt in a relationship, you must first look within yourself. If you feel contemptuous, take a look at your behavior patterns. To truly evaluate yourself and see the truth behind your behavior takes courage.
2. Using Direct Communication Instead of Sarcasm:
You are being disrespectful to your partner if you are using sarcasm and cynicism indirectly to ridicule them. It is not a direct way of communicating your opinion.
It is crucial to work on your communication skills when it comes to fixing contempt in a relationship.
A foundation of trust and mutual respect is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It’s better to put direct your criticisms than to confuse your partner.
3. Look for Positivity In Your Partner:
A positive outlook is key to resolving your emotions and saving your relationship with your partner. A negative attitude towards your partner is one of the leading signs of contempt.
You should get rid of negative emotions and create positive feelings for your partner to make your relationship stronger. The process of overcoming negative feelings is not something that you can do in a single day.
Therapy can help you work through your emotions and change your outlook so that you see your partner as a positive person.
4. Recalling Old Memories:
This is the best way to understand how to resolve contempt in a marriage. You can take a trip down memory lane to reflect on the fond memories you have shared with your partner.
You might have just met your partner for the first time, had a great conversation, or shared a special night with your loved one. It could also be your honeymoon, your adventurous date night, or a night of love and intimacy.
5. Promoting a Culture of Appreciation:
Positive behavior and mental attitude are not enough for a relationship. It is essential to let your partner know that you are grateful for the bonds you share with them. It will not only honor them but will also boost their energy.
Talk to your partner and find ways to build up a culture of appreciation in your relationship. This will help you see the beautiful person who is your adored one and the reason why you have chosen to spend time with them.
6. Listening to Your Partner is Important:
Condemning your partner without giving them a chance to express their opinion can cause a contempt stage of detachment in your relationship.
The most significant part of speaking directly is being attentive to the other person or listening to them.
If you wish to hear from your partner, it is important to be listening to your partner, too.
7. Balancing Your Expectations Toward Each Other:
This is another aspect that requires you to reevaluate. If you feel that you’re being dissatisfied or unappreciated it could be due to unreasonable expectations or high expectations of your relationship.
If you are looking to preserve and appreciate your relationship, and your companion, then you must be able to manage your expectations of your partner and the relationship.
Conclusion – Contempt in Relationships:
Like honesty and trust, communication makes your relationship grow strong. The good the communication, the stronger the relationship, and the other way round.
Disrespecting your partner or having a communication gap with them can create problems in your relationship. This type of behavior can lead to contempt in relationships and it may also destroy your relationship.
You should always describe your feelings and needs to your partner and get into the habit of doing this regularly. This will help you in avoiding negativity and contempt in your relationship.
Cheers to your relationship!
